Good Fences

I had 3 goals this week, one of which was to get my whole yard edged and looking pretty.
I need to send a memo to my lonely neighbor (Kimmie Gibler's mom) that me being in my yard is not an invitation to chat. It is not my way of secretly trying to signal to her that I want nothing more than for her to come over and talk my ear off.
My presence in my yard is also not a request for other neighbors walking their pets to come and do any of the following:
-ask how much our brick work and landscaping cost
-suggest ways in which I could "enhance" my yard
-offer unsolicited advice about my child rearing/lawn mowing/car parking
-comment on the number of dandelions growing in my yard
-allow their dog "do his business" on my yard then ask me to just rake it up with the other stuff I have to take care of

Sometimes I hate being a homeowner........

Full House

Do you remember last summer when I would mention my racist neighbor who would come by and just lurk and hang out anytime we were outside? I have taken to calling him Kimmie Gibler and I am astounded that no one gets the joke.

We went out Saturday night with some friends and one of them they call Bob Sagget because he "looks just like him!". Really he only looks like him after 3 personal pitchers and a shot or 3.

We went to see the Korean import today. All is well with them. His mama is slowly adjusting to new motherhood. They seem to be doing really well and I sometimes forget that they have to worry about "attachment issues" and what not. I loved hearing about their trip to Korea, but I was sad when she told me that someone on the subway in Seoul asked them why they weren't allowed to adopt a baby in their own country. She replied with a "How rude!" and all I could think of was Stephanie Tanner. Who, incidentally, just had a baby named Zoie, which seriously? It is a great name, but better without the 'i', don't you think?

We also went to the park today to blow off some steam before hopping in the car to see our new friend. Abby's friend Jackie (who I think I hate) asked Abby if she wanted to play "Olson Twins" which made me wonder if they were going to design a clothing line and stand in the corner smoking, trying to hide from the ever present paparazzi. When I asked Jackie's mom where she had heard of the Olson Twins she told me they get their DVDs from the library "all the time" and that they really "instill good virtues" when little Jackie watches them. Isn't that her parent's job?

Since last week's ER, which is sitting on my Tivo is not going to watch itself I am going to watch John Stamos try to get it on with the chick from Freaks and Geeks. No not that chick, the other one.

Now all I need is a run in with the older sister and the other creepy "uncle" who lived in the basement and I have the whole cast of Full House. Or I need a life. One of the two.

Taxman

Yesterday I got a frantic phone call from Tim at about 11:30 am. According to our accountant (o.k., I need to clarify- he is my father in law's accountant and since he deems Tim and I to dim to do our own taxes we get our stuff done for free every year) we owe the United States Government $5,574.00.
Excuse me?

According to our accountant we made more money last year than we ever have (sounds good, right), but due to the way in which Tim gets paid by his cheapskate asshole boss (his father) we are being taxed on money we have not yet seen. Which begs the question- where is said money? Apparently the accountant was horrified that my father in law withholds earnings like this and that there is no consistency to Tim's income. When confronted with this by the accountant, my father in law insisted that what he was doing was "teaching Tim a lesson". I think that class was dismissed when the accountant told my FIL that this practice was bad bad bad business and that it was illegal depending on how you look at it.

Now I don't know about any of the rest of you, but $5,574.00 is kind of a lot of money to us. While we technically have the money it is requiring some robbing Peter to pay Paul for bills this month so as to not completely destroy our savings and yet still pay Uncle Sam by the 15th.

Have I mentioned lately that I really dislike being a grown up.

Feo

Yesterday the crowned prince of Batavia arrived safe and sound after his journey home from Korea. Our dear friends are now the proud parents of the cutest Korean ever. They had a little "meet and greet" yesterday afternoon so that all their middle aged women friends (she is a teacher and he is the principal of an elementary school- they are surrounded by children and middle aged women all day long) could say that they had seen the baby then get out of their grill so they could work on being a family.
Not ones to ever miss a party (or our chance to meet Theo) the girls and I headed out to see the kid. We couldn't come empty handed so Abby made him about 100 cards and pictures- all addressed to "Feo". I was really impressed by how well my kids grasped the concept of adoption. While they were disappointed that he wasn't up to doing more playing it was so fun to finally meet this little soul who we have all been so anxiously waiting for.
They talk about the red string that connects us all, and I feel like I have seen the red string in action. This little boy was born over 6,000 miles away to parents who wanted something different for him than they could give. Six months ago he was designated as my friend's baby, and I think from that moment on he has had all their love and all the good wishes of everyone they know raining down on him. This was obviously meant to be. He has taken to them, as they have to him.
While their transition into parenthood will not be without trials, who's is? I had to bite my tongue while she took his temperature (for the 5th time) and fretted over a 99.2 degree fever (the kid was held all day and was wearing 2 shirts, a hoodie, pants, and socks in a room full of people- of course he was hot!). I said nothing about the net over the crib, and I didn't laugh when I heard that she put sunscreen on him to get from the airport to the car.
I can't tell who is luckier, sweet little Ha Bhin (his Korean name) or his wonderful parents.

A Memo to the Grocery Baggers of America

Hi Friends,
Thank you so much for bagging groceries. I am sure that it is probably a pretty sucky job, and I applaud you for stepping up to the plate and making it so that I do not have to bag my groceries myself. While I appreciate you and your efforts, I do need to make a small request.... When I come in and the cashier hands you my reuseable grocery bags could you a) not look at them in disgust, and b) could you please please please not put things in plastic bags then in my reuseable ones? The thing is, I don't want any more plastic bags, really I don't. If I did, I would not bother to bring my reuseable ones in (see how that works). Also, while you are at it could you also not throw the bag away if I have refused it and taken the single item, such as a loaf of bread, out of said bag. Really, my bread does not need it's own plastic bag, and if you really want to get down to it it is technically already in one so putting it in another one then in reuseable bag makes no sense. Really it doesn't. I know what bread looks like, I know not to squish it too much, and I also know that squished bread won't kill a person, so please don't try to point out my bread to prevent said squishing by putting it in a bag that I don't want. And if you do this and I refuse the bag please just put it back on those little hook things rather than shoving it in the garbage can.
Can we work together on this, please? Or can you just move the hell out of my way and let me do it myself? Honestly, I usually try to get the lane with no bagger to avoid this all together, if you must know.
Thanks!
The Lady With the Reuseable Bags

Just Like Labor

Last week our dear friends who are adopting a baby from Korea got their travel call.
Now, in a few short hours they are going to meet their son.
Check it out- www.theoadoption.blogspot.com
If you need me, that is where I'll be.....