The moms at Abby's old preschool are pretty cool. Despite the "Mommy wars" that tend to go on, they are all pretty nice and we have gotten to know each other over the past year and a half our kids have gone to school together. There is this one mom who, over the summer, got pregnant (she has 3 other kids) and when she went in for her 20 week ultra sound she found out she was having spontaneous twins. I think that a 4th pregnancy would tip me over the edge, but then to find out it is twins?! I don't even know what I would do.
So this mom is 26 weeks and has started dilating so her doctors have put her on complete bedrest. So now she has these 3 kids to tend to and can't be up for more than 15 minutes at a time. The moms at school yesterday were setting up a schedule for when we could all be bringing these people lunches and dinners, and trying to schedule car pool and what not to help her out.
One of the moms said nothing and did not volunteer to help at all, and when she left all the others started talking about her and how rude that was.
When did helping the pregnant mom become mandatory? I have offered to help, but I am not going to go overboard because I have shit to do and making sure that they have a nutritious and delicious meal is totally peripheral to me. Does this make me a bad acquaintance?
Do I care?
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2 comments:
Is it possible to be a bad acquaintance?
I tend to save my real kindness for friends and family, unless the acquaintance seems like a really fantastic person or is someone with no support system.
It would be terrible to be on bedrest when you already have 3 kids and I am sure she appreciates the help, but it might even feel a little bit awkward, you know?
Does she have any extended family around?
I think in these situations helping is completely optional and I'm with you, the mom who got bitched about didn't do anything wrong.
that's kinda how my moms group in the states was before i moved. i was always the 'new kid' so i didn't get into the gossip too much until just before the move, then i guess the other moms felt i was 'safe' cuz i was moving out of the country.
there was a meals for moms program they set up, which was very nice, but rather stressful too...if you didn't participate for any reason (or volunteer to host a playdate, or stay after to help clean up, or volunteer for a position, or whatever) there was the inevitable bitching behind your back...
so annoying!
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