The End of An Era

Today I am announcing my retirement from hockey.

I just emailed my coach and told him that I would not be playing this year. Now I avoid my email for the rest of the day.

I started playing hockey when Tim and I were engaged. We were great friends with the teams (his and mine), and I really enjoyed doing it. The team I played on was mostly older women, just out to have fun. And it was for a while, then it changed.

I hadn't been playing for too long when I realized it was like a sorority on ice. There were the cool kids on the team, the ones who everyone talked about, the weird ones, the excellent players, the goons, etc. There was a big shake up of the Alpha Girls right around when I got pregnant with Abby so I was happy to bow out of the mean girls drama. Even when you are not directly involved with that stuff when it comes down to it you are put on a side. It was the first time I was lumped in with the Alpha Girls, and I didn't like it.

Because I was going to continue playing for this team after I had Abby, I never spoke up about how they treated people, and I wish I would have. It is a whole complicated story filled with a bunch of details that no one cares about, but the bottom line is that I am not cut out to be and Alpha Girl. Or a hockey player for that matter.

I will miss playing, there was something about it that I enjoyed, although it has been so long since I played that I can't really remember it. When I see Tim leave for his games he is so excited to go and play, and that was a feeling that I never remember having (if I even did).

So my hockey career is over and has given way to my other interests. The only person who could be more excited about this than me is my sister who will o longer have to listen to me whine the whole way to the ice rink when I call her to tell he how much I really don't want to play hockey.