Keeping Up with The Joneses

Not to be out done by Clementine's recent trip to the Emergency room, Nora decided it was her turn to see what goes on in the hospital.
When I left you last she had a raging ear infection and was to be comforted by her cool mist humidifier and antibiotics. When I took Abby to preschool the next morning one of the moms (who is a nurse) commented on how ill Miss Nora seemed and how fast she was breathing. I gave her a rundown of the doctor's diagnosis and she told me that I should be counting how many breaths per minute she was having and suggested that she might be a bit dehydrated. Most advice like that I kind of blow off, but Nora was breathing like a worn out porn star and it did kind of worry me that she hadn't peed at all that day so I called the doctor's office. Nothing is scarier than when the nurse tells you that you need to come in "immediately" and that if her condition changes to reroute to the emergency room.
So off we went to see the doctor (who should seriously be on some best dressed list somewhere) who had me give her this breathing treatment which was awful for both of us and did little to improve her status. He gave us a deadline of 4 pm for her to pee, and if she didn't we had to pack it up and head to the emergency room. 4 came and went with no pee so I dropped Abby off with my mom and off we went.
After some parking issues, we got checked in and waited. They asked me about her symptoms and they must have thought I was lying to them. Fever, check. Vomiting? Diarrhea? Over here! Cough, runny nose or trouble breathing? Obviously. Skin irritation? You should see her poor tush. The peeps in the ER confirmed what we thought, she has RSV and was severely dehydrated.I had to hold her down while they stuck her in both arms to get an iv going. She was a trooper, and started to perk up a bit, but not enough. Some snake oil salesman doctor ordered a chest x-ray (again, not to be outdone by C-Dog's broken arm) which showed that she had a bit of Pneumonia and needed to spend the night and get IV antibiotics.
Since her condition is fairly contagious she was put in a quarantined room and all the nurses who came near her were decked out in what looked like Haz-mat suits. It was late when we got up there and they had to do some stuff, like suction out her nose, take her temp etc. (note that turning on the cool mist humidifier which is supposed to heal all that ails small children was not something that they did because there wasn't one in there. Why do I have to have one running at all times but the hospital doesn't?) By midnight we were finally settled and tucked in, she fell asleep, and so did I only to be woken up at 1:30 am by a nurse with a flashlight. What the fuck. It was like we were at a Rave. Her stats were fine, nothing was out of the ordinary but she was breathing fast so the nurse decided to suction her. Not fun. And really, lose that flashlight you are fumbling with and shining in my eyes and my kid's. If you are going to shoot stuff up her nose then suck it out just turn on the damn lights. Don't pull this crap that "it will wake her" because the stuff you are doing to her little nose is going to wake her up more. Common sense was apparently evading this woman, (aside on this nurse- she wore hearing aids, but took them out to listen to her breath sounds. Does that make ANY sense?)
So we go back to sleep only to have the flashlight come at us again at 3 to take her temp. I asked the nurse to leave her since she didn't feel warm, but alas we had to unwrap the sick, sleeping baby and stick the thermometer under her arm to prove that I was right. And thank God she had that flashlight, I don't think Nora had been traumatized enough at this point.
We made it though to 7am with little interruption after that, which was good. Nora sucked down some formula and seemed to be ok until I left her in the Romanian Orphanage crib to go pee. I was gone for a total of maybe 45 seconds and was washing my hands when I heard her gagging. Of course she threw up her bottle, and it was all over precious blankie. I think we were more upset that we could not clutch blankie anymore than we were about the vomit.
So Nora and I cuddled all morning. She ate a little (with no vomit-hooray!) and we just killed time until they told us we could go home. Since she was quarantined we couldn't leave the room and the poor kid was stuck walking in circles, tangling up her IV.
While she is not 100% better, she definitely has some of her sparkle back. I gave her a bath tonight which had to have felt amazing for her. She is sleeping soundly with high doses of antibiotics and Tylenol coursing through her veins and the cool mist humidifier humming away.
Tim has calmed down some. His mom sent up the bat signal or something so all night long I have been fielding calls from his thousands of aunts and uncles checking on our girl. I think I hurt my dad's feelings because I didn't call him sooner, but I didn't want to freak him out in the middle of the night or at work today.
Bottom line is that she is on the mend and we are home now. Tim has scaled back his drama. Abby has school tomorrow and I have laundry to do and a house to clean. My little babe will be ok, and I will post a picture or two that I took with my camera phone when I can.
And just like when we won the baby legs from Mamac-ta all I have to say is- Suck it Clementine! Your broken arm and pink eye have noting on our chest x-ray and overnight in the hospital!

(Just kidding sweetie! You know I adore you and don't want anything bad to ever happen to you or my babies. Now don't share your toys during cold an flu season, make sure your mommy and daddy have the cool mist humidifier going at all times, wash your hands before and after you do ANYTHING, and go to sleep!)