Bookends

Tonight I saw someone who I haven't seen in a long time.

It was weird at first because the gap in our friendship was awkward and abrupt. The last time I saw him was in August after Amanda's baby shower. We ate cake on our patio and watched Abby play in the yard. He had always like Abby, shown an interest at least which is more than I can say for most of our bachelor friends. Abby adored him too, she would always flirt with him, and make sure he was watching her. He used to be a fixture in our house, over at least 2 nights a week for dinner. He was there so much that we got Abby a figure of him for her doll house. Then he disappeared.

We have all done that to someone, either on purpose or accidentally. I still haven't returned Cassandra's calls and never intend to, and I keep forgetting to call Anna back from that time she called in January. But this was different. It was like things were just put on pause. At first it wasn't noticeable, but then the silence grew deafening. It could not go unacknowledged that this fixture in my house had disappeared. It was hard to explain it to Abby because I didn't really have an explanation. It wasn't like there was some rift, it just was an unreturned phone call.

I thought of him a lot in the time that passed when we didn't see him. When I caught the Simpsons or made brownies. I would wonder what he was up to while I warmed up by the heater he installed in the garage. I would think about him when I passed Fermi Lab and wonder if he was still dating Ellen. When I had Eleanor I wondered if he remembered that I was pregnant. Sometimes Tim and I would curse his shoddy workmanship on the garbage disposal he put in, but I always missed him. It is weird that for the better part of a year an half my best girlfriend was a 22 year old boy. I missed the way that he would take an interest in what I though about things and that he didn't just regard me as "Tim's wife" the way some do. He was good to my kid, and we liked having him around.

Tonight after a few margaritas Tim and a friend of ours (Friend's former roommate) decided to stalk him at his night job. It was weird. How do you not acknowledge the time that has passed? How do you ask why you didn't return my call? I don't think this adventure fazed Tim and Tony the way it did me. I listened as he tried to explain where the time went, but really, it didn't matter. I didn't need an explanation, I don't know what I needed. As far as I was concerned I was just along for the ride.

I don't know if this fixture will be reinstalled in my house. We have a new resident who has changed everything, but there is always room. I don't cook as much as I used to so the draw of that is diminished, but we have been rocking the panni maker. Things get hectic, and time passed makes it strange, but we'll see.

If nothing else, I got a night off out of the deal.