Where for art thou, Romeo?

Let me just preface the following by telling the one person who reads this (my sister) that I love my husband. He truly is wonderful and loyal and kind and sweet and funny. He is the best dad that he can be and he is not too shabby of a husband. Having said this, he makes me fucking crazy sometimes.
Case and point #1: Yesterday we were having company. An old friend of mine from college, who I have seen once since I got married 5 years ago, came over with her husband and their new baby. I had to go to the grocery store, pick up the house and prepare lunch before 12:30, and Tim and I decided that we would divide and conquer. I would take the baby to Jewel with me, he would take Abby and clean the basement. When I left with the baby, he and Abby were finishing breakfast on our bed watching TV. When I got back an hour later they literally hadn't moved. I wish I got to lie in bed and cuddle with Abby while completely ignoring responsibility.

Case and point #2: When Tim finally did decide to clean the basement, he left me with the girls, groceries to be unloaded, and food to prepare while her rearranged furniture in the office rather than pick up the party of Little People in the basement. He then decided to sterilize the vacuum cleaner. A 10 second tidy in Tim's world takes 3 hours because he gets anal about 1 little thing. This is why I mow the lawn, a simple grass cutting turns into relandscaping the backyard.

Case and point #3: Sometimes he just doesn't do it right. Abby's shoes need to go into the basket or I can't find them. We don't have chocolate milk with breakfast. Anytime the baby cries it is not always because she is hungry or needs me. Used diapers do not sit on the changing table they go in the fucking diaper champ that he never remembers to empty on Garbage Eve. The list goes on...

Case and point #4: Tim is unable to see what assholes his parents are. He refuses to admit that his dad might have a girlfriend in Florida, despite the fact that Tim has met her. He won't acknowledge that his mom might actually be right about wanting some of their money as she divorces his dad. He won't acknowledge that his job sucks because he works for his dad. As an only child he carries quite a burden of having to deal with these people, but he allows then to abuse him and use him in ways that he would not tolerate from anyone else on Earth. .(this is another post, let alone blog, entirely)

Case and point #5: I got a $25 gift card to Target for Mother's day and got to sleep in until 7:15 am AND host a brunch for our mother's.

Case and point #6: He is physically incapable of using proper grammar, not saying 'fuck' everyother word, and not interrupting me.

As I am typing this I am feeling guilty for being too hard on him, and I don't want anyone to think that he is a complete jerk and wonder why I am married to such a fool. The truth is that for every completely irritating thing he does there is something equally as sweet.
He warms up my side of the bed for me during the winter, he rubs my feet whenever we are watching TV together, he indulges my bizarre obsession with Valli salsa by having it waiting for me when I get home from work, he tolerates my often irrational whims as well as my obsessive recycling practices, he won't let me call the Salvation Army to get rid of the crap in our garage because he knows that I am vehemently against their practices (despite the fact that this shit needs to get out of my garage), he lets me make fun of his car and him without ever giving it back to me, he doesn't complain about my mom just popping in unexpectedly even if it ruins our afternoon, he gets olives on our pizza when we order form Jake's eventhough he really hates them, the list goes on....

The only parenting advice that I give without being asked is that you will never hate your spouse more than when you have a kid. You will also never love them more, but that soon gets phased out by the idea that s/he is "doing it wrong" when it comes to parenting. I think this is true not only for parenting, but for marriage in general.

Sure it would be nice to have a husband who always remembered to put the dishes in the dishwasher (ok, I'll take the sink even), and I would love to not have to go on Coke Can Safari to collect all of the half full cans from around the house, garage and yard, and it would be nice to have someone who would just read my mind and do everything the way that I want it done, but I don't think that man would sit and watch The Hills with me or let me have complete control over the remote.