Paging Dr. Phil

Tim and I have not had an actual conversation in about a week.
I could sit here and tell you all the ways in which he is a total asshole, but I won't. I will try not to mention all the times that he has yelled at me this week, however I am still kind of pissed that he didn't even ask if everyone was ok when I called him about my (not so) minor fender bender in the Ikea parking lot. I will hold off on complaining about how dramatic he is being, lying on the couch with an arm draped over his eyes and sighing heavily at every chance he gets. I will avoid these things because I know he is sad.
Tim's parents have been married for 30 some odd years, and have dated since they were 15. They are now in the midst of a bizarre and endless separation. Tim had that childhood that everyone on the block talks about and shakes their heads at. His dad was never around, when he was he alternated between yelling and bringing home the most extravagant gifts for Tim and Kathy. Jerry spent many years building what is now a very lucrative business. The money that he earned cost him Tim's childhood (hence the expensive gifts), but not Tim's admiration and reverence, which is sad.
To hear Tim talk about his childhood is like listening to an abused wife. In his mind it was all Kodak moments and learning experiences, but when he talks tells stories, I am slightly horrified at how selfish his parents were/are. (case and point: by the time Tim was 3 he had to make his own breakfast because his parents didn't want to get up with him in the morning. My mother in law is incapable of waking up before 8:30 am, or so she claims)
There is an intricate web of denial that is woven into this family. Kathy didn't acknowledge the underwear that wasn't hers that she found in her bed years ago because she "must have left them there". Tim still isn't sure that his dad really had an affair in Florida recently (Tim has met the woman), he still just thinks that his dad just told Kathy that because she just assumed it anyway (Tim really isn't this stupid, just in that much denial about his dad not being the hero that he always wanted him to be). And Jerry thinks that he will only have to be divorced for a few years so that he can finish his decade long midlife crisis and remarry Kathy. They are, after all, soulmates.
The whole situation is a mess. There are so many facets and backstories and versions of what is happening that it is like living in Pine Valley, and we quite literally live in the middle of it. With Tim working for his father and Kathy living 6 blocks away we get all their divorce, all the time. We know about their finances, their emotional instability, their sex lives. We hear about what he said and what she said and what their friends think. We hear about the therapists and the counselors and the dentists who all have opinions. We hear it all, and I think it is getting really hard on Tim.
I have talked to Tim's 2 closest homies this week and both of them have commented on how hard Tim seems to be taking things. Tony tried to talk to Tim about not taking it out on those around him (i.e. me) and to talk about his feelings rather than lash out in inappropriate ways. This conversation was, according to Tony, like when I ask Abby to pick up her toys; she knows I am speaking and knows that she needs to do what I say but she is just going to sit there and try to get by not listening for a while longer.
Tim is notorious for his temper and I have suffered a brunt of it lately and I am now at a loss as to what to do. The last time I suggested going to a therapist, Tim said that there wasn't a doctor out there who could tell him something he didn't already know. I just wish he would quit smoking again and start taking the Zyban, he is much better with a little welbutrin in his system.
At least he is not taking it out on the kids.