15%

My mom is notorious for double booking, utting in, and being a republican. When I was a kid she would drop me off at the public library for the hour that she would spend with her therapist "Roger" since it was ill advised for my sister and I to be left alone together for too long unsupervised. I would wait by the entrance for her and there were many occassions that I thought that this was going to be the night that she did not pick me up. I would count the cars that came down the driveway and say "If she is not here in 3 cars I will start walking home". I blame the this feeling of abandonment for a lot of my adult issues.

When I first had Abby I became mentally ill because my mom wouldn't hold her. She just doesn't do the whole baby thing, which is fine but I worried that she would never develop the bond with Abby that i had with my Grammy. I feared that I would be stuck with Tim's mom as the Alpha Grandma.

On the eve of every election my mom calls me to remind me who to vote for.

Almost every third time I ask my mom to babysit, she screws something up and my plans get ruined (this does not go well when I have to work)>

I could go on about the things that my mom does that irritate and disappoint me, but today is not the day for that. For the last 24 hours my mom has been my hero and my saving grace, and has met and exceeded all of my needs. This happens only 15% of the time.

Yesterday she and I took the girls to lunch with a friend of hers. When she got to my house i was a tad stressed, and more than a bit overwhelmed. She took Abby to play in the falling snow, and listened to me complain about the things that I needed to do (especially go to the grocery store), but couldn't because of ballet class and an impending playdate that I had rescheduled twice and couldn't bring myself to do it again. And even though she tried to tempt me with a trip to Von Maur, someplace I desperately need to go to, but it would have made me late for ballet, (my mom is notorious for double booking and skating into places at the last second which has made me anal about being on time almost to a fault) we had a very nice time.

I took her back to her car at my house and scooted off to ballet only to come home to find that my mom had gone to the grocery store and got me the staples that I needed to get me through to when I could really get to the Jewel(s). She had also emptied the dishwasher. Once upon a time this would have irritated me, but now I welcome it.

Her greatness didn't stop there. Today I got a call from my friend in the hospital's mom. He had been asking to see me and his mom wanted to know if I could make it down this afternoon. Without even thinking about what I would do with my kids I agreed (something my mom taught me to do- say 'yes' to everything). I called my mom's cell phone hoping she would be free, but it is a craps shoot between the widows she tends to as well as the secret life she lives (she is NEVER home, I am not sure where she goes all the time but she is often a moving target). I left her a message hoping she would eventually get back to me at some point during the day and began dialing for dollars to find a sitter. Within minutes my mom called me back (before she went into her Bible study at a church she has begun hanging out at- not to replace the church that owns her) and told me that she would be there by noon and that she had no other plans that afternoon. This was twice in a very short timespan that my mom was who I needed her to be. Sure when I got home late this afternoon I could tell her patience with Nora's teething and constant need to be held was shot, but again my dishwasher was empty and my kids had a good day with their Grammy.

It is this 15% of the time that makes the 85% of the time go away, and for that I have to give her some props. Someone please remind me of this the next time she makes me see red.