The Games We Play

Last night Tim and I had his mom come to sit for the evening. I usually hate when she sits because she is, well her, and she can barely take care of herself, let alone my kids.

She got there before Tim got home from work and kept complaining about working (she has to fill in full time while the secretary is on maternity leave), and that she was not invited to the boat show this weekend. My father in law (I like calling him her estranged husband) is down at McCormick Place working a boat show that he has done for as long as I have known him. In the past my MIL has done nothing but whine, bitch, and complain about this boat show. About having to drive in the city, about parking, about the hotel beds, about having to be there in general. She would always threaten that she was not going the next year, and last year as their separation was evolving, he told her to stay home. Now it is the only place on Earth she wants to be. When I reminded her of how miserable she used to be at this thing she told me that didn't matter and that it was the principle of the matter. Principle, schminciple- she made the whole thing miserable, she makes most things miserable, why would he invite her?

This topic evolved into me asking her when she was moving back in. Now, I know when I ask this that it is poking her, but I can't help it. Before Christmas she kept telling me that she was going to move back in by the first of the year, and although she has spent 1 night there, she is not moving back in. When you ask Jerry he looks at you like you are asking him to share his house with the Avian Flu so I am unclear on why she keeps insisting that she is moving back in so soon. She started this song and dance about how he has told her that he needs to work on some more stuff in therapy before he can be the husband she "deserves". When I asked if she thought he was just making excuses because he is comfortable with their set up (he hasn't had to give her half of his money in a divorce settlement yet he still doesn't have to live with her or take her to Florida so he can bang whomever he wants) she got all defensive about how she can't be the wife he "deserves" yet either.
This conversation ended with me laughing at her.

When Tim and I got home, I checked caller id which is what I always do. I rarely listen to messages, but I do keep tabs on who called via caller id. I noticed his dad called. This is his game. When he knows that Kathy will be at our house he makes sure to call her on our land line rather than using her cell phone which is how he calls her even when she is right next to her home phone. I don't know if he is looking for credit from Tim for trying to maintain a relationship with his estranged wife, or if...I don't know what. He also pulled something similar on Christmas morning. When Tim called at noon to wish them a Merry Christmas his dad made a point of telling him that he woke "them" up and that "they" were still in bed, and then he asked if he wanted to talk to his mom, because she was "right there". We get it. You nailed your estranged wife last night. Did you want to scar Tim with pictures because this whole situation has not been scarring enough.
Anyway, I kept my mouth shut about Jerry calling until, of course, Kathy mentioned it as if to prove to us that he is taking an active interest in her life.

I guess all these games work for them, and I am guilty of playing along. I feel bad when I pick on my MIL, but i feel like no one bothers to call either of these people out on their nonsense. I guess that is just another game we all play.