Character Witness

For the past week a black cloud has been looming around us. Our good friend Tim2 was in a serious car accident which has kept him in the ICU at Evanston Hospital until yesterday. While his condition improves daily, we are still unable to see him and have been relying on a crude game of telephone for information.

Now we all handle bad news differently. So completely clam up while others will talk the ear off of anyone who will offer. The friend of Tim2’s who called to tell me about this in the first place has been very dramatic, giving up staples of her life to show her support and making him collages and shrinky dinks to help his recovery. Tony has been quiet, which is to be expected. He is kind of the “strong silent type” and likes to keep things to himself. My Tim, who was recently christened “Alpha Tim” when trying to discern between the two, has been a basket case. He has been very dramatic about it all. He couldn’t concentrate at work on Friday after I told him what was happening. He loses his appetite when he thinks about it. I am waiting for him to pull out his guitar and use power ballads to express his emotions, but for some reason “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” just doesn’t seem to fit here. I have been having a hard time just sitting back and doing nothing so I decided to bake some cookies and head down to the ICU.

Now I have never met Tim2’s parents before and I was a bit nervous about just showing up, but as everyone who said they might go with me continued to bail on me (and Tim2) I decided to just go and see what happened. It is always an event to meet someone’s parents; it is an even bigger one when you are standing outside the ICU. When I saw his mom, my heart broke. This poor woman had been through hell in the past few days and even though his health was improving, the details about the accident were not. Despite his inability to communicate, Tim2 needed a lawyer, and while I was talking to his mom I mentioned that the Mafia Attorney might be able to help them out. She was so grateful and wanted to call her husband right away because he was just getting started looking for one. I got him set up to call Alpha Tim and felt like we had actually been able to help out.

While I talked to his mom I tried to imagine what she must be going through, but I couldn’t. If anything like that ever happens to my children I don’t know that I could be as composed as this woman was. I don’t know that I could think as clearly. And I definitely don’t think I would ever let them out of my sight again. I also met Tim2’s sister in law- someone who I have heard a lot about over the years. He is not a fan of hers, but yet she is one of the select few who are allowed to see him. When I realized this I got a little irritated. Why is that fair? Not my rules I guess.

As I drove home from the hospital Alpha Tim called me to “give me an update”. Apparently he was having Tim2’s car moved to the shop and not charging him storage like others would. I though that was nice of him. He also told me that he was “lawyered up” with the Mafia Attorney. Now Alpha Tim really hates when I refer to myself as a Mafia Princess. It makes him angry when I call him out on us not getting actual quotes on work around the house and just using his dad’s guy. When we relandscaped we had to use Fucking Tony Norton (his is so awful that if he hasn’t legally changed his name to add the “Fucking” part, he should) because Tim’s dad owed him some business. When the furnace broke we had to use Ray, pay him in cash and we can’t have a receipt because it “leaves a trail”. It’s like the Mafia, really, and usually Tim gets annoyed about me calling it that, but whatever.

So all night long all he could talk about was how the Mafia was taking care of his buddy, and that he was really doing a service by getting the car taken care of. I got bored and went to bed early. But it continued into yesterday too. Once he saw the actual car that Tim2 crashed “it all became clear” to Alpha Tim what had happened. He came home telling me that he knew exactly what happened and that it was not really Tim2’s fault. I told him that he should relay that to Mr. and Mrs. Tim2 and he immediately freaked out about how if he gets called to testify he can’t be held responsible for reconstructing the scene. He could be a character witness if need be, but he couldn’t put his career on the line. I told him he was not Gil Grissom and that he should just try to ease the mind of this poor kid’s mother who is being made to think the worst of her kid. Tim still refused, but he “can’t wait” to tell Tony that he figured out how the accident happened.

The dismount of this conversation sent me over the edge, and had I not had Kappa Book Club last night I don’t think he would still be breathing today. He proceeded to tell me something that Tim2 mom had told me the day before and that I had told him, but he put his little Alpha Tim spin on it that made it much more dramatic that it originally was. I am serious when I say that I almost kicked him.

I understand that he was never given the tools to deal with crisis, but seriously, this is too much. Can he really be this much of a drama queen?

And can I tell you one more thing? I tried to blog about this Monday night, but I couldn’t because Tim was cleaning the office and singing along so loud that I couldn’t concentrate and you all know how I feel about that. I went to bed early and when he came in he reminded me that I forgot to give him a haircut and told me that he left my “crap” on the stairs because he really just needs the office clean. Really?! Because I need the house clean but that doesn’t mean you ever move any of your shit. Anyway, I also tried to blog about this last night, but once I got home Tim had been watching the “Keynote” and I had to hear about that for an hour because he is now an official expert on all things Apple.

Please tell me I am not a bad wife for thinking he is so irritating sometimes.